TEACH SOCIAL SKILLS TO CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEED USING MUSIC

One time I had an autistic patient who came to a session I was to have with her crying, I went on to ask her mother the reason for the tears, she told me that she raised her voice at her because immediately they stepped into the hospital, she covered her face. If you are familiar with children who live with autism, you will know that they have very poor social skills, they can hardly make an eye contact.

The major reason why I’m doing this post is to help you as a caregiver teach a/your child social skills using Music. non-musical pathway may seem forceful and tiring for you and your child.

Children with poor social skills are often seen as preoccupied in their own world and may be highly passive or unresponsive in social situations. In this post, I’ll share with you steps to take and five social skills to target for intervention.

The first is to be grateful for your journey again and again, there is an air that gratitude brings, it dispels toxicity and comparison.

Next is to enrol your child in a music school if you might not be available due to work schedule or other things. The music school attendance may be an extra-curricular or full-time activity, either way is perfect. The goal is to be in an environment that is musical and increases curiosity first.

Getting a musical instrument of their choice will not be a bad idea, take note of choice because you don’t want to buy one that your child will not like or end up making use of. What musical instrument does is that it builds a level of self-awareness in them and improves relationships with others. It encourages a level of communicative behavior and interaction with others, which is something that autistic children have great difficulty with. An illustration of a band was given by someone, if we look closely at the way that a band works, it is obvious that the instruments must all interact with one another, but the player only needs to interact with the instrument at first. interacting with others can be troubling for children living with autism, but through the introduction of a musical instrument, there are possibilities that they will connect first with the object and then open up to others interacting with their musical instruments also. The autistic child whose story I shared earlier on was able to bond with music and myself through the use of musical instrument (The Guitar).

Proper interpretation of music both in lyrics and in sound, this can go a long way to help in teaching us to converse. For children with autism, it could mean learning a new word from a song, or better understanding on the way to act in a social situation based on the messages that a song expresses. We know that autism can create barriers for children in social settings, but small groups of children listening to music together may feel confident and comfortable enough to comment or sing along with others.

Using musical parody to teach them this social skills that are targeted for intervention: eye-contact, vocalization, imitation, initiation and turn-taking. For example, the popular twinkle, twinkle little star can be sung using other lyrics but same tune. That’s parody, different lyrics but same or popular tune.

  • While you do this try to make eye-contact with them, let them look you in the eye and make sure to do same.
  • Ask them to vocalize the song you just taught them.
  • Sing and ask that they imitate you, try to make it funny and creative.
  • Initiate the song and allow them continue, you can sing the first line and allow them continue
  • Take turns in singing, use words likes “whoever sings first gets a bowl of ice cream”. This is to motivate them.

Finally, be sure to go over what they have learnt in the music school with them even if you are not available. Don’t just leave the entire responsibility to the music teacher.

Be sure to check my Instagram pages for a video showing you an example of social skills you can teach your child with special need using music; @mercykaynimi, @escape_global.

You are doing so well and I am rooting for you!

Do let me know in the comment box if this post was helpful.

Need counsel? Need help or have questions? Feel free to drop them here or if for confidentiality’s sake you don’t want to, kindly write to me; mercykayt@gmail.com.

Thank You.

F O R E V E R A L I V E

Olubunmi Onadipe (I’ve always known her as Amoke) is an amazing and professional Singer who majored in Music performance. I mean she’s so good (No hype), she was my senior colleague in the University.
This particular podcast makes me extra glad, because it’s the first I’ll be having with someone beyond the shores of Nigeria 💃💃💃

Her background in music according to her is simple, she was simply around music, a family of music and this seemingly ‘simple background in music’ inspired her to study it as a course. She studied Music first at the Polytechnic of Ibadan, Oyo State, Nigeria where she had an Ordinary Diploma (OND), she then crossed to Obafemi Awolowo University Ile-Ife, Osun state, Nigeria to further in Music. It’s been an amazing journey for her.


She’s very passionate about Music Therapy and she shares how Music has healed her in the past and how she’s continually healed by it Everytime.


She shares how much she fell in love with a particular piece written by the delectable Johann Sebastian Bach popularly known as J.S Bach. In my conversation with her, she shared that this piano piece of his gets her whether she’s happy or sad.


She has listened to this piece for years but she can’t just explain why something in her just comes alive anytime she listens to it, she has never been bored listening to this.
My conversation with her opened my eyes to the fact that there are certain persons who could have this one song or piece of music on repeat forever because it makes them come alive and they never get bored.

This conversation is worth your time I must acknowledge, kindly click the link below to listen 👇

Thank You for always reading and listening 💜

Song recommendation for you;
Mai Taimako na (My Helper) by Solomon Lange, kindly click link below to listen 👇https://youtu.be/4lPZlJ5fZZ8

W A L K I N G

I remember reading Deforia Lane’s account of her patient who was about to have a bone marrow transplant and because of loneliness and anxiety had trouble sleeping. The suggestion was made to try Music Therapy and she did, she found out that he loved hymns so he decided to sing ‘Oh, how I love Jesus’.

He had his oxygen mask on earlier but because he needed to sing, he removed it. The nurse stepped in and was taken aback by this sight, she noticed the atmosphere had changed and there was something different about the way music made the kid feel, she took his blood pressure and exclaimed that it was the lowest she had seen in him.
To help his insomnia, Dr Deforia had him listen to music on a cassette player and in 20 minutes he slept soundly, first time in a long while…


I had to share this story because I didn’t understand the gravity of what Esther Odeyemi, my guest on this week’s Podcast went through when she had an accident. Her legs were going to be amputated due to the effect of the accident. She shared with me how she found it hard to sleep many times because she was depressed and couldn’t explain why she was in such pain. She found a light in her questioning season, it was music. It was music that gave her feet strength to walk again, it was music that helped her sleep soundly, it was music that gave her wings to fly despite the obstacles, it was music that lifted her head high when all she could see around was shame.


Her legs weren’t amputated, call it a miracle but till date she still limps while walking, she shared how she was able to overcome the depression that came with people jesting using music.
She’s a warrior in every sense and I’m thankful she’s walking.

You can listen to the full episode here👇https://anchor.fm/mercy-kay/episodes/W-A-L-K-I-N-G-Esther-Odeyemi-el0sse

PS: It’s been one year since I started sharing everything Music Therapy and it’s been a rewarding and stretching journey. If you’ve learnt something from this blog, please share in the comment section. It would mean a lot.


Such a joy reading from you.💚

M E M O R Y

Some years ago I had this patient who had seizure, truth be told you could hardly get him to converse but they say where conversations do not work, try Music and voila music was set to do the miracle.

I found out from his caregiver that he loved drumming so we started with allowing him drum, he drummed on anything and it just made him hyper active the more but trust me the sight was so beautiful to behold, he was fourteen years so talk about ‘teenage shyness’, he didn’t have it. He was just a free-spirited teen.

After series of drumming everywhere and admiration of my guitar for a long time we now needed to work. Talking about admiration of the guitar, he pulled it very well and I was so careful so he’d not distune it because at that time I wasn’t perfect at tuning a guitar, I knew it’d take me time to get it tuned. I helped myself by pleading with him in a friendly manner to take it easy. Lol

He calmed down a bit and we were getting started on the next phase of the Music Therapy Administration, this time I was going to make simple melodies on the guitar and he was going to replicate it. It was my first time trying such so I sang a simple melodious song and in 2 minutes this hyper active teen had picked everything and was eager to replicate, I had this look of what??😲
This kid didn’t disappoint at all,he replicated it so well and this time around he took the guitar to try it, I allowed him and it was beautiful even though he didn’t know how to play but it was beautiful in my ears.

This experience taught me two things people who are ill are not looking for anything complex, they already feel the sickness is complicated and they want something simple to brighten them up, this is majorly why I do very simple songs.

It also taught me that Music helps with easy retention no matter the kind of ailment or personality a person has, when it comes to music they’ll remember more than they remember words.

I am certain you learnt something from this story, do leave a comment below.

I always love reading from you.💚

O V E R C O M E R

Jesusson shared with us his journey into therapeutic music, how he played the guitar at an annual event tagged ‘PATIENTS’ DAY’, seeing patients in the hospital regain their confidence and joy just by doing music opened his heart to the aspect of Music and he’s been on it.

He’s one of the few people I know who sensed a call into music and told themselves since this is what I’ve been called to do, let me just study it and boom! He went in for music.
He shares Music on his YouTube channel Friday for Originals every week, you can check his music.

The highlight of my conversation with Jesusson Awotu-Ukiri was when he sang the song titled ‘ We shall Overcome’. I have always known this song since I was in secondary school and there’s this nostalgic feeling I had listening to him sing again.
That’s not even his story, he used to be a victim of depression, he was broke and so many other things were happening to him. Jesusson took to music in that season of His life as a companion, I find that music keeps us company when life’s journey feels too lonely a path to tread on, music is a place to find solace but not just any kind of music will do that. Jesusson and I shared how important it is to discern songs that are for us, some songs make us sink back into depression while certain songs awaken us and pull us from the pit of darkness we find ourself in.

As I always know, reading this story is not as good as listening to it from the one who owns the story, so click the link below to listen 👇
https://anchor.fm/mercy-kay/episodes/O-V-E-R-C-O-M-E-R-ekbt8u

Thank You and it’s always a joy reading from you.💚