TEACH SOCIAL SKILLS TO CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEED USING MUSIC

One time I had an autistic patient who came to a session I was to have with her crying, I went on to ask her mother the reason for the tears, she told me that she raised her voice at her because immediately they stepped into the hospital, she covered her face. If you are familiar with children who live with autism, you will know that they have very poor social skills, they can hardly make an eye contact.

The major reason why I’m doing this post is to help you as a caregiver teach a/your child social skills using Music. non-musical pathway may seem forceful and tiring for you and your child.

Children with poor social skills are often seen as preoccupied in their own world and may be highly passive or unresponsive in social situations. In this post, I’ll share with you steps to take and five social skills to target for intervention.

The first is to be grateful for your journey again and again, there is an air that gratitude brings, it dispels toxicity and comparison.

Next is to enrol your child in a music school if you might not be available due to work schedule or other things. The music school attendance may be an extra-curricular or full-time activity, either way is perfect. The goal is to be in an environment that is musical and increases curiosity first.

Getting a musical instrument of their choice will not be a bad idea, take note of choice because you don’t want to buy one that your child will not like or end up making use of. What musical instrument does is that it builds a level of self-awareness in them and improves relationships with others. It encourages a level of communicative behavior and interaction with others, which is something that autistic children have great difficulty with. An illustration of a band was given by someone, if we look closely at the way that a band works, it is obvious that the instruments must all interact with one another, but the player only needs to interact with the instrument at first. interacting with others can be troubling for children living with autism, but through the introduction of a musical instrument, there are possibilities that they will connect first with the object and then open up to others interacting with their musical instruments also. The autistic child whose story I shared earlier on was able to bond with music and myself through the use of musical instrument (The Guitar).

Proper interpretation of music both in lyrics and in sound, this can go a long way to help in teaching us to converse. For children with autism, it could mean learning a new word from a song, or better understanding on the way to act in a social situation based on the messages that a song expresses. We know that autism can create barriers for children in social settings, but small groups of children listening to music together may feel confident and comfortable enough to comment or sing along with others.

Using musical parody to teach them this social skills that are targeted for intervention: eye-contact, vocalization, imitation, initiation and turn-taking. For example, the popular twinkle, twinkle little star can be sung using other lyrics but same tune. That’s parody, different lyrics but same or popular tune.

  • While you do this try to make eye-contact with them, let them look you in the eye and make sure to do same.
  • Ask them to vocalize the song you just taught them.
  • Sing and ask that they imitate you, try to make it funny and creative.
  • Initiate the song and allow them continue, you can sing the first line and allow them continue
  • Take turns in singing, use words likes “whoever sings first gets a bowl of ice cream”. This is to motivate them.

Finally, be sure to go over what they have learnt in the music school with them even if you are not available. Don’t just leave the entire responsibility to the music teacher.

Be sure to check my Instagram pages for a video showing you an example of social skills you can teach your child with special need using music; @mercykaynimi, @escape_global.

You are doing so well and I am rooting for you!

Do let me know in the comment box if this post was helpful.

Need counsel? Need help or have questions? Feel free to drop them here or if for confidentiality’s sake you don’t want to, kindly write to me; mercykayt@gmail.com.

Thank You.

HOW YOU CAN TEACH A SPECIAL NEED CHILD WITH NO Background in music

I have no background in music and I want to teach a/my child with special need.
I know the previous post may have got you wondering how you can teach your child music with no music inclination. I will be sharing few simple steps on how to teach your young one in such a way that it is beneficial to both you and them.


The first thing I’ll like to mention which I mentioned in my previous post is to OWN YOUR JOURNEY, I apologize for reiterating it but if you must make the most of this journey then you will part ways with impatience, comparison, ingratitude and be companions of gratitude any day any moment.


Focus on knowing your CHILD(REN): When preparing to teach music to your child(ren), focus on knowing them, understanding their personalities, what they love and will tend to. Knowing them means you will have to recall the times when they engaged in music, what their response was like, if they love calm or fast music, if they enjoy rhythm, whether they have ever been fascinated by a musical instrument, if there is any genre of music that makes them aggressive or feel frustrated. All these are to let you know that you must be a keen observer, it will help you know which to tone down on and which to elevate. Ask them questions and don’t feel bad if they don’t like what you envisaged them liking.


Focus on learning a musical instrument, be it Voice, Piano, Guitar and so on. Do not dabble into too many musical instruments, you can download videos online to learn, explore yourself and all other spontaneous ideas that might come in the process and as you learn, try engaging your child with it. The goal is to learn while they learn.


Keep things simple with your child. your child isn’t an adult that you would want to please by being prim and proper, you can say things like “Honey you know mummy or daddy is just learning to figure this out so let’s just go with the flow”. Your child will appreciate the commitment, vulnerability and simplicity you put into it. I remember when I just started playing the guitar and was visiting the hospital, because I didn’t know much I always wanted to cringe, then I realized from my interactions with each kid that they didn’t care, they just wanted the simple thing I could play then.


As you grow in teaching them, avoid being rigid, kids love to play and explore a lot and sometimes you might have a bucket list of how you want to teach music but they are just concentrating on one. I used to ‘overprepare’ and then when I begin sessions, they just always have something else they love to do. Do not rush them, give grace and watch how they explore just the one you’ve taught them. the joy is not in how many lessons you can pump down their brain but in the journey that is moving steadily. Be grateful!


Watch sessions on YouTube where children with special needs are engaged in Music Therapy, it will boost your confidence and you’ll have lot of innovative ideas on how to utilize music in helping your young one.


Paste colourful postcards containing illustrative affirmations in your music space. Affirmations like; I am smart, I am well-behaved, I sing well, I play my musical instruments well and so on. Just be creative about it.


Finally, as you teach them the little you’ve learnt, don’t stop learning also. It’s never bad to learn on the job, some days might seem frustrating but please do not give up, give grace.
You are doing so well and I am rooting for you!


Do let me know in the comment box if this post was helpful.
Need counsel? Need help or have questions? Feel free to drop them here or if for confidentiality’s sake you don’t want to, kindly write to me; mercykayt@gmail.com.
Thank You.

HOW TO UTILIZE THE GIFT OF MUSIC IN HELPING CHILDREN LIVING WITH AUTISM- FOR CAREGIVERS (Parents especially).

I have worked with a couple of autistic children and one common thing I have noticed is that caregivers wish children will just respond using force. Force has never guaranteed response from anyone, it might work when you are present with them but when you are not with them, they will follow what they feel is cool. Here are ways to utilize the gift of music;

 Own your journey; this is the most important point in everything I’ll be sharing with you today. Many caregivers, parents especially have a pattern in their mind of how things ought to be based on a number of information they have read, seen or heard. They are quick to forget that every child is unique and how they are related with is key in healing. Owning your journey means taking it a step at a time and being thankful all the way. Be thankful for your child, be thankful that you are their parent and above all be thankful that Jesus has beautiful plans for them no matter the disability.

 Engage them in music at every instance: Studies show that children with autism can understand both simple and complex emotions in music and are more responsive to sensory stimulation compared with other children especially in music, even over speech or noise.
Music can positively impact children with autism in diverse ways. You can use songs to emphasize speech in children with autism who struggle with language. One technique is to sing with vocabulary cards in order to teach vocabulary skills, you can also play music videos like COCOMELON that teach all these using music. Singing can considerably enhance language skills in students with a type of autism that has language delays.
Music can be used to help a child with autism recollect important information when it is linked with a musical sound, like a melody or rhythm.
One critical study found that music can be used to focus students’ attention, keep those with disabilities on track and decrease their anxiety from stress. I once had an autistic patient who could hardly focus but would pause at the sound of a rhythm made, master it and give you the exact way he heard it.

 If you are musically inclined, try engaging them using music elements in the simplest form.
Music elements such as pitch, melody, harmony, rhythm and so on. When children listen to a piece of music, the combination of musical elements are in it. However, some children with autism are auditory sensitive and it makes them experience a lack of forbearance for sounds.
You can help them by using separate musical elements to simplify their music. For example; start with a song, you as the caregiver can try teaching in stages by isolating pitches on the piano first. As they get comfortable with it, you can slowly introduce the other elements one at a time. be sensitive to know when they are not interested in one element and when they are interested in another.

 Compose songs with the child’s name as song title, it has a way of building self-confidence. For example, in this part of the world, many people have native names. If your child has a native name, you can make use of the name interpretation to compose a song and still mention his or her name in it. It gives a feeling of being loved, being known and all the god feeling.

 Employ music to help the aggression they feel. Autistic children are most times frustrated because of the difficulty they experience in expressing themselves but music can help as it can keep them calm by lessening their feelings of anger. Try different genres of calming and sensory music, see what works best for your young one.

This is not an exhaustive list on how to utilize music in helping children living with autism and like I mentioned earlier, it’s a journey you should take at your own pace encouraging yourself and your child as you walk through it. This journey will be both beneficial to you and your child.
You are doing a great job and I’m rooting for you always.

Need counsel? Need help or have questions? Feel free to drop them here or if for confidentiality’s sake you don’t want to, kindly write to me; mercykayt@gmail.com.


Thank You.

LINKS:

C O N C E N T R A T I O N

I was at the hospital last week and it was closed down because the management thought to fumigate the hospital.
Every disappointment is truly a blessing, I have been wanting to share with you one of my experiences in the hospital where I had a patient who almost dislocated my arm.

I have this strong love for autistic children. I remember feeling the warmth of the embrace of a particular autistic child in my church, I must tell you I loved her immediately. There was this aura of peace she carried.

Well that’s not even the gist, I had a session with an autistic child in the hospital and honestly I was lost for songs or activities.
He was one child that had a very strong grip, you couldn’t just beat him to getting his body calm, he’d struggle with you.

If you know children living with autism, you’ll know that this comes with aggression that is common with the mental disability.
He also had difficulty in concentrating, so I could hardly get him to focus because it felt like something else needed his attention.

I figured out that I was not going to get his attention easily so I started by beating a rhythm because I was told he loved drumming, I did this repeatedly and honestly you will think he wasn’t listening or paying attention until he played the exact rhythm back to me without me asking and that was the bonding point for us.
He did the rhythm repeatedly and we transited into singing.

I did a song in his name letting him know that He is a gift from God and it was beautiful, he slowly calmed down and gave me his full attention. His mum was with him and she was so impressed, the song sent a message to her thatsaid regardless of the health challenge of her son, it doesn’t change the truth that he is a gift from God to the family and the world.

One thing I learnt from this session is this; producing a simple rhythm and hoping for him to reproduce it helped him concentrate. If this is continuous and consistent, he would be able to concentrate always and learn concentration in other aspects. Asides from the administration of Music Therapy helping patients calm down, it helps focus and concentration.

I am committed to doing this anytime and any day because the transformation I see always is priceless.

This is the #DiaryofAnAspiringMusicTherapist, Episode 9

You mean a lot to me and I love reading from you!